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Remember that wacked out guy that Triumph made fun of in "Truimph vs. the Star Wars Nerds" (find it on the links page if you have a fast internet connection)? Well here is his picture. Click on the picture to see his web site. It's crazy! Huzza!
| Blackwolf the Dragonmaster |
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| And don't you forget it! : ) |
www.homestarrunner.com - this site seriously must be a web site for retarded four-year-olds. Somehow, many teenagers find this web page hilarious - people these days! I guess it's a little like the obsession with "Sponge Bob Sqaurepants."
I seriously don't have a clue why someone made this website - www.iloveegg.com. Must have been some weird Japanese dude who couldn't get a job drawing anime for T.V. Anyway, some of the animations are okay.
I really don't know what to say about the link below, except that it's very revealing. WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK! IT MAY MAKE YOU GAY.
Spiderman Revealed! Some scientists say they have determined the following joke as the funniest joke in the world. What were they thinking?!?
A couple of New Jersey hunter are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone an calls the emerency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a BANG! is heard. The hunter says, "Now what?"
Due to popular demand, I've decided to put another thing on this page.
Gabriel AKA. Kickapoo
This is with the express permission of Gabriel himself, so no one better complain about how mean this is.
For those of you who don't know who Gabriel is, be glad.
The Homeland Security Color System
(Find out more by visiting the editorials page)
Some Funny Stuff (Thanks Ingrid)
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
- On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
- On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
- On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
- On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
- On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
- On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
- On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)
- On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
- On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
- On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
- On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
An anonymous mushroom sent this poem to me... go figure. It's actually pretty funny...
Spelling Checker
I halve a spelling checker;
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew not sea.
Iıve sent this message threw it,
And Iım shore pleased to no
Itıs letter perfect in its weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.
Here's the song about brave Sir Robin from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot,
He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Robin,
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off,
And his weenie (censored) split ... and his ...
ROBIN
Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads.
It Looks as though like there's dirty work afoot.
And this is the song after he fled from the giant three-headed knight:
Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave Sir Robin
Petrified of being dead
Soiled his pants then brave Sir Robin
Turned away and fled.
Click here for the full script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
This is so incredibly stupid! If you watch it, it will probably kill a couple of brain cells, although some of you may find it entertaining. Just click on the picture below.
Here's a stupid musician joke that I feel is worthy enough to be on this page:
There once was a very strange conductor who always insisted on using a machete for a baton (don't ask). His favorite piece was the Beethoven Ninth Symphony. He was conducting one time in Vienna when he got so excited by the end of the song that WHAP! roll, roll, roll! He sliced the first cellist's head off. So he was sent to jail and sentenced to the electric chair. The jail warden asked him what he would like for his last meal, and he said, "A green apple." So he ate the apple and they flicked the switch for the electric chair and nothing happened. They were forced to let him go. So then he went t America, where they hadn't heard about him before, and he got a lob conducting the Beethoven Ninth Symphony, he got so excited by the end of the song that WHAP! roll, roll, roll! He sliced the first cellist's head off. So he was sent to jail and sentenced to the electric chair. The jail warden asked him what he would like for his last meal, and he said, "A green apple." So he ate the apple and they flicked the switch for the electric chair and nothing happened. They were forced to let him go. Then he went to back to Europe to conduct the 9th Symphony and he got so excited by the end of the song that WHAP! roll, roll, roll! He sliced the first cellist's head off. So he was sent to jail and sentenced to the electric chair. The jail warden asked him what he would like for his last meal, and he said, "A green apple." But this time, the jail warden said, "Oh no you don't I've heard of you, you're going to just have to eat a banana this time!" and they flicked the switch for the electric chair nothing happened. The jail warden was stunned, "What's wrong with you?!?" he stammered. The guy walked away saying, "I guess I'm just a bad conductor."
P.S. For those of you that still don't get it, a good conductor is something that allows electricity to pass through easily.
OK, look, I've realized now that there are way too many stupid things in the world to fit on this page (or this website for that matter), so I'll just use this page to put the MOST stupid things in the world, but mainly I'll just practice my JavaScript here.
MAD LIB OF THE WEEK:
Archive of Previous Stupid Thingies:
| I don't really have anything against the French |
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| but this is hilarious (sorry Gabriel) |
"DEAD MAN QUESTIONED ABOUT MURDER" - headline in a newspaper from Lake Charles, LA
HOT Chicks - ENTER IF YOU DARE | 
